2 comments

• Comment Link Tuesday, 12 January 2010 13:35 posted by Mom

  I wanted to give a follow up on my our journey…. I will be stepping back in time by about a month….
  
  My son was only in the half-way house for 6 days. Another client brought heroin in and wanted someone to share it with. At least he had come far enough that he knew he had to admit his mistake immediately and he was back at Penn Foundation the next day - feeling sick and mad at himself. It seemed like he had made some progress, even though he relapsed. It’s hard to explain - that I saw progress in a relapse. The marathon continued when his insurance said he had to go to Gaudenzia House in West Chester and stay there for 3-6 months. He was not at all happy about that, but went there 6 days after going back to Penn Foundation. I began to hate Thursdays - he always seemed to mess up on a Thursday.
  
  He hated it at Gaudenzia. I’m not sure how he did it, but he called me 3 or 4 or 5 times every day telling me how awful it was and wanting to find a recovery house that would take him in. He hated the room, his counselor, his 13 roommates (all sleeping in one “bunk” room), the food, the area, the program. After 4 days, I just stopped answering my phone. That was the first week of October.
  
  This past weekend was the first time I was invited to a family meeting with his counselor. She described his behavior and I could tell she had figured him out real fast. He hid under his bed to avoid going to groups. He pretended to attempt suicide hoping he would be sent somewhere else. But then he started to cooperate and make progress. The counselor told me that an addict has trouble being honest - but my son is doing well with that, admitting the terrible things he did to support his habit. He feels bad about those things now (progress!).
  
  He has a “job” at GH - everyone does - but he did so well, he was promoted to department head! He started voicing his feelings and is finding how helpful that can be. I talked to him on the phone for just a few minutes this past week and I can hear that he is changing. His counselor says they are opening a halfway house right there on their property and they think he is making progress toward moving there. He will be welcome for up to one year.
  
  It feels good to hear all these good things. I am still afraid about him going back into the “real world” since he did so badly when he had freedom. But he has to face the world sooner or later and I just pray that he will be able to keep up his current, drug-free lifestyle. Time will tell.

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• Comment Link Tuesday, 12 January 2010 13:35 posted by Mom

  Update:
  Things are different today. My son finally got into a halfway house after weeks of waiting. I wasn’t impressed by the place at first, but now I am beginning to understand how the process works.
  
  Still hard for me: letting him do EVERYTHING for himself. It’s hard but I’m trying my best to do NOTHING but emotionally support him. When I think about it, it should be the easiest route - just don’t spend any money or go out of my way to do things for him. Just live my life going about my own business. But for anyone “out there” who is a parent, you know it’s hard not to offer assistance. I’m grown and stable - I have a house, car, job, clothes, food. But I am realizing that I only appreciate having those things because I worked for them. My son deserves the opportunity to do it alone.

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