I just met with an older couple concerned about their alcoholic, adult son.  The son had not drank in over two years.  That was until a few days ago.  The relapse was significant and they were worried.

They asked him to get help and he said, “I dont need it.”  They decided to call us anyway.  From the call, they came in to meet with me for one session.  They wanted to know what role they could play to increase the chances of their son’s return to abstinence.

That was so refreshing for me to hear!”, I said to myself, ”a family that didn’t wait a month or a year to seek professional help.”  They didn’t throw up their hands and say, “It’s his life; we must wait till he hits bottom.”  They asked a simple question, “Is there something more we can do?”

There was something more they could do.  We carefully constructed an approach that gave their son an opportunity to work things out but not too much freedom that his addiction could take over.  This “balanced approach” made sense to them.

The trick in families “helping” loved ones with addiction is finding an approach that isn’t too controlling to offend their loved one nor too “hands off” to allow addiction to continue.  In one session they found an approach that was “just right”.

Todd Barlow, Director of Drug and Alcohol Services

I often wish that someone could enter my mind and body. This way I may be able to determine for sure if I am truly sicker than others. Why am I so dissatisfied with living life on lifes terms. I wish there was some sort of peace in my mind. Why do I have so much trouble appreciating anything or being greatful of anything.I feel I am blindly falling through a never ending abyss of pain and agony.

Im the mother of an addict too. I have a background in public health and had some knowledge about heroin, but when I realized I had a heroin addict living with me, right in my own home, I was devistated. I tried to remember everything I had heard about enabling and drug treatment. I took my son to a treatment center and beleived him when he said he only needed detox, not rehab, and wanted to come home and go back to work. That was 14 months and 7 detoxs ago. I was beginning to feel this was a battle we could never win. By chance, I called Bucks Co Council on Alcohol and Drug Dependence in Doylestown. I just couldnt believe that there was no answer for his problems out there. They listened to my sons long story and said Penn Foundation was where we needed to go. We were there the next day - they managed to find him yet another detox bed; they really listened to him describe his drug use and determined that he needed anti-anxiety meds to help him through rehab. They provided family counseling for all of us and have coached me along daily to make sure I give him support without enabling.

As a mom, the hardest part has been realizing that I am not talking to my real son - Im talking to an addict. He looks just like my son but he speaks another language - the language of the addict. I now know that he can lie while looking me in the eye. I now know that he will steal from my wallet while Im in the next room. He can con his sister into using her car by making her feel sorry for him. But I also now know that, with the right plan and coaching, he has a chance to get away from heroin and stay away from it. He completed a week of detox and 3 weeks of rehab and was happy with his own progress.

He relapsed with other drugs recently while waiting to get a bed at a halfway house. Penn Foundation guided me through that - a time when I was ready to give up on him and just let him live on the streets as an addict. As of this writing he is in rehab at Penn, still waiting for that halfway house bed. This is the hardest thing I have ever done for/with any of my children. Im hopeful again today and trusting that I will be coached through any of the difficult days that I know we will have to face in the future.